evolution

Those of you who have been with me for a long time might remember that there used to be a co-contributor, my buddy Michael. Because of the nature of his work (which I can’t really tell you about), he doesn’t post here anymore except in the comments — I just thought I’d pass this along for those of you who know us both.

Well, apparently he spent his long weekend abusing high-grade industrial inhalants, because he proposed to his girlfriend. As far as I know, there is no date set.

You know, I sometimes wonder what this blog might have become if it had a little bit better marketing. Or, perhaps, a better writer. Maybe if its alcohol and strippers budget were a little smaller.

Seriously, people: I don’t know how much longer I’m going to stay with this, but thanks for coming this far with me.

You know, I never really explained what happened to make me come back to Kansas from Purdue, where I had been accepted into the Ph.D. program.

Why would I do such a thing, really? I’ve long told people that being a graduate student is at the same time hard and easy. School is hard, but the rest is really easy. So why come back?

Simple — I wasn’t left with much choice. Turns out I was good at math, but not that good — I got a C in Real Analysis my first semester, which pretty much puts the target on your back; I was pretty miserable and lonely on top of all that. I wasn’t a TA that year, so I was really disconnected from everything and everyone.

Toward the end of March I told the program director I was out. If I hadn’t, the way things were going I doubt I would have lasted much past that, but at that point I didn’t need pushing. I also doubt that I broke his heart too much.

I finished the semester out of some twisted sense of pride, and then as soon as I could I packed up and came back to look for employment.

Don’t know what caused me to post that; I was just going back through the archives hunting down bugs and stopped to read some posts from those days.

I’ve been tweaking the blog tonight, which is why I haven’t had much to say. I upgraded to Wordpress 2.5’s latest release candidate, to see if it would jack up as much stuff as the last major version upgrade did, but it seemed to go okay.

The new version allows one to add one’s Gravatar to the site, so that if you regularly use that service, your Gravatar will appear here in the comments as well.

Feel free to request features that you’d like to have or think would be good for pushing this site along. Also, feel free to note features that suck and that should be terminated with extreme prejudice.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank Internet dweebs at places like 4chan and YTMND, and the users of Playlist for shoring up my traffic recently. It appears there has been an Internet phenomenon called “rickrolling” that started at the sites I just mentioned. This phenomenon was similar to the goatse.cx (FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK OR LOOK THIS UP AT WORK) phenomenon of about thirteen years ago, except instead of… that… the gag link goes to a YouTube posting of the MTV video for Rick Astley’s 80s hit Never Gonna Give You Up. I used it earlier in a bit of tasteless commentary.¹

So, thanks, Internet.

1. Is there any other kind here? [↩]

I don’t know why anyone would want to e-mail me after that last post, but there you go.

My primary e-mail for this site got spoofed, and as a result, I got over 10,000 bounce-back messages from the various servers and spam filters my spoofer sent messages to. Accordingly, I had to shut it off.

Using the site’s e-mail form goes to the right place and will reach me. I will most likely reply, and then you will have my official public-relations e-mail. Those of you that have my super-secret personal e-mail should not fear — it is unchanged, so that you can continue to receive your usual dose of j.d..

I also took out the calendar, because I don’t think anyone uses them except for me, and the sight of it was annoying me.

And it’s going swimmingly. I weighed in at 266.6 pounds this morning, a change of -4.8 pounds since last week, and a change of -18.4 pounds since January 21. I now move on to week 4 of the workout. I still struggle with pushups; last night, when I did the “Bodyweight 200“, I had to substitute kneeling (”cheating”) pushups for some of the real ones in order to do them all. My arms, quads, and thighs could take no more by the end of it. However, the changes have become apparent to me. My gut rolls are no longer the handful they once were, and my shoulders are starting to square off. The fat is nearly falling off of my legs.

This week’s routine is identical to last week’s, except that the final workout depicted above must be completed twice with five minutes’ rest inbetween. Look for my name in the “rescue calls” section of the Journal-World.

The effect of my fervent desire to disengage from anything political this season means that you’re subjected to stuff like this. I might write about my political feelings and participating in a process that isn’t speaking to me later, but for now we’re all weight-loss all the time, baby.

We had a snow day last week, so I had to stretch this third week of my workout out longer than is ideal, but no matter — for I am starting to see real results.

This week, I was able to complete the two “normal workouts” — the standard sets — more or less as written¹. These are here and here.

The third day of this week’s workout is the endurance test known as the “Bodyweight n“, where n is an integer greater than 99 and less than 1001.² The first two weeks — recall that I repeated Week One twice — call for the “Bodyweight 100” (live demonstration). In the first week, I attempted the exercises, and I completed them — in twenty minutes, and I nearly passed out. The recommended time is seven minutes.

Turns out I was just being a douche, because I repeated the week and did the same routine a week later in eleven minutes. Week Two of the workout (my third week) calls for the “Bodyweight 100″ routine to be done twice consecutively with five minutes’ break between. I finished the first circuit in ten minutes and the second in nine, although I had to substitute dumbbell presses for some of the pushups. Let me tell you I’m feeling every one of them today. The chief effect of reading about the “Bodyweight n” workouts in advance of doing them is to give one the shivering douchechills about doing them; but, lo and behold, you find yourself able with considerable difficulty if you have done the regular workouts as planned. The seventh week involves a brutal “Bodyweight 500“, and I’m told that there is an exquisitely diabolical “Bodyweight 1000″ in the works.

I weighed in at 271.4 pounds, a change of -4 pounds since the end of last week and a change of -14 pounds overall. I am now 6.4 pounds away from my initial goal, which at current trends will be met with two more weeks of work. I am holding the line on my eating habits, which I’ve found remarkably easy to adapt to. I’m also starting to see muscle definition in places where I had none, such as in my legs, around my shoulders and chest, and even up and down my arms. It will be quite some time before I see my “belly off”, but I can see the beachhead being prepped.

1. With some recommended substitute exercises for the ones I’m still not strong enough to do repeatedly yet. [↩]
2. n is the number of total repetitions you end up doing once you finish all the exercises. [↩]

Today’s a snow day, so I’m at home, and I’m going to work on the site, pruning and upgrading as the needs arise. In between looking at photos of Gisele Bundchen surfing, that is. Let me know if there is anything that doesn’t work.

It’s been two weeks, and I can’t tell you how much better I feel already. I don’t have energy crashes during the day anymore (in fact, I worked until 7:00 on Friday just to finish cleaning out my office, because I was on a roll). I am indeed starting to get stronger; I’d like to progress to gain a strength commensurate with my large frame.

I declared Sunday’s dinner, which was of course the day of the Super Bowl, to be a cheat meal, and I made a spinach, pepperoni, and Gorgonzola pizza from scratch using sauce I had made months ago and frozen, some fresh mozzarella, and my stockpile of fresh herbs.

I weighed in this morning — after six workouts, or two weeks of the program — at 275.4 pounds. That’s a change of -6 pounds since my last weigh-in and a change of -9.6 pounds overall.

I’m finding that I can’t do all of the pushups the program calls for. The last workout of “Week 1″, which I repeated this week, calls for 20 pushups and 15 close-grip pushups (which work your triceps more than the standard pushup) in addition to 20 pushups as part of a regular warm-up routine. I did all 40 standard pushups, but I had to do triceps extensions with weights rather than the pushups. Also, I cannot do unassisted chinups, but fortunately my gym has a machine on which a counterweight can assist you. Thirdly, I’ve been doing dumbbell rows rather than the rows depicted (same reason - I’m just too heavy/not strong enough), and finally, I finished the main workout in 10 minutes rather than the recommended seven.

I’m not a fool — I know that the first ten pounds will have come off much easier than the next ten will, and that those will come off much easier than the ten after that. But this program is producing results I can see. I’ll start Week 2 (remember, I repeated Week 1) tomorrow.

I weighed in this morning at 281.4 pounds, a change of -3.6 pounds from my initial weigh-in of 285 pounds. That’s about as much as is safe for a man my size to lose in a week. I changed my diet as follows: breakfast is a bowl of plain Cheerios or a piece of fruit. Lunch is PB&J on Orowheat “double fiber” bread.¹ Dinner is a small chunk of seared beef or chicken with a double serving of a dark leafy green vegetable — lately I’ve been on an arugula kick — tossed with a light homemade balsamic vinaigrette. In between meal times, if I’m so inclined, I’ll eat some yogurt, or a handful of almonds, or perhaps a small chunk of flatbread with some hummus, which I have been known to make from scratch.

The workouts are going better — after struggling mightily the first night, I was able to mostly finish the workout for the rest of the week as written. There were a few exercises² I couldn’t do properly. So, I plan to repeat week 1 of the workout, this time finishing each exercise or an acceptable substitute in the specified amounts.

Other small things have improved my quality of life — I sleep better, I don’t have difficulty getting up in the morning, and my overall mood has improved. By the end of eight weeks I hope to be down to 265 pounds.

1. Don’t worry. It tastes good, and makes great toast. [↩]
2. Those “spiderman pushups” are a bastard. Even the creator of the workout admits they are extremely difficult. [↩]