evolution

When good lovin’ goes bad:

“Hospital staff thought he was going to die, he was very close to death,” said Crown attorney Larry Allan, adding the man has fully recovered.

Allan said the man and woman had been drinking heavily and were engaged in “rough sex activities” when the man requested she “carve artwork” into his chest.

“He said they engaged in dangerous play, and due to her intoxication, was not precise with the knife and punctured his heart,” Allan said.

The man told police the stabbing was an accident and that the two routinely cut and scratched each other with knives. The man showed police several wounds, including a heart-shaped scar on his back featuring the woman’s initials.

McCammond said it was the victim who introduced the woman to “body modification” and asked her to carve another heart on his chest. The woman was complying when the man asked her to press harder, McAmmond said.

I’m calling bullshit. Maybe I could get my brother, a medical student, to weigh in on this, but to stab someone enough to jam a knife into his left ventricle, don’t you have to force the knife through a skeletal breastplate, maybe a couple of ribs?

1. Would it be possible to arrange a Presidential candidate that isn’t BFFs with a subhuman lowlife? Obama has Bill Ayers, the Clintons have… how many?, and John McCain has the Keating Five and G. Gordon Liddy.

2. Dude: G. Gordon Liddy? He is still alive?

Having just recovered from my own “toilet ordeal”, I feel as though I should post about another Kansan’s similar travail:

Pat Bollinger, the woman’s aunt, said she calls daily to the hospital to ask how Babcock is doing and asks every day to talk to her. Babcock has agreed to talk to her only once for about 10 minutes, she said.

During that one call, Babcock spoke little and mostly listened as Bollinger recounted happy family memories — time spent swimming, camping and boating — from the year Babcock lived with them in Arizona when she was in fifth grade.

Babcock has not spoken about her bathroom ordeal, said Bollinger, the family spokeswoman.

“I didn’t bring up anything,” Bollinger said. “I just let her know how much I loved her and cared for her.”

Babcock’s relatives said that no family members have been allowed to see her at the hospital, that they know little of her medical condition and that she spends much of her time sleeping at the hospital’s intensive care unit.

Something’s a-weird going on here.

… why, when someone does something effed up like sit on a toilet seat for two years, do they have do be from Kansas? Why can’t they, say, move to Missouri first?

The bad part of doing the Kansas beat on a political, media, and humor blog is that I feel obligated to post things like this.

Like when a Wichita man does it… doggy-style:

A woman responding to a break-in in her garage found a man having sexual intercourse with her 4-year-old female rottweiler, police said Wednesday.

The woman called police Tuesday night after finding the 20-year-old man.

Police arrested the man, who they say had a prior conviction for the same crime less than six months ago.

“This is the first time that I’ve ever seen this… and I’ve been in law enforcement a long time,” said Lt. Sam Hanley, who leads the department’s sex crimes unit.

The man was booked into Sedgwick County Jail on suspicion of criminal sodomy and aggravated burglary.

The burglary was included because the man is suspected of breaking into the garage while someone was home, police said.

He had lived with the family for a while last year in the 3700 block of East Clark, police said.

The man pleaded no contest to having sex with an animal last September in Reno County and was fined $353, according to court documents.

He also can be found on an Internet Web site where people show photos and tell stories about sex with animals, Capt. Darrell Haynes said.

Ted Kennedy cannot be rolled out to pasture by a dozen El Salvadoran groundskeepers put out to pasture soon enough for my tastes, but I must admit, his endorsement of Barack Obama over Hillary Clinton — and the subsequent reaction to same from NOW — warms my heart in ways that can only be approached by, say, a fine English pipe tobacco; or, say, Joel’s scotch.

Maybe finally identity politics will implode in on itself, like a neutron star of pent-up tribalistic hatred, and take the whole social apparatus built around it down with it.

Or maybe it will have 13 highballs, put its secretary into a Delta 88, and run itself into a river.

A boy can dream, I guess.

UPDATE: Nah, cause then it would survive.

I’m cleaning out the ol’ Bloglines clippings folder. We did a number of pieces on the Bobby Fischer nutbag era, which pretty much includes all of the time between his match with Boris Spassky which got him into trouble with the Feds and… last Thursday, when he, uh, died.

Can’t say as I’ll miss the guy. Behold the evolution Bobby Fischer archive, for nuggets including an Atlantic article about his descent into paranoia, and his deranged anti-Semitic rantings following the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks.

An Arizona law student and former beauty-pageant contestant apparently decided to star in her own personal Prodigy video:

In the Dec. 18 indictment, Fulbright is accused of holding and torturing her 24-year-old ex-boyfriend in early December with the help of three other men, including another man she had previously dated.

Authorities think the dispute began because the ex-boyfriend was believed to have stolen jewlery given to Fulbright by the former beau suspected of helping in the attack.

Fulbright invited the man to her apartment, then excused herself to shower, said police spokesman Sgt. Fabian Pacheco. Then two men showed up and bound him with plastic ties and duct tape, accused him of taking the jewelry, and threatened to shoot him with pistols, Pacheco said.

When Fulbright finished her shower, she allegedly bit the man on his forearm, right hand and ear, held a butcher knife to his head, and told him she was going to kill him.

Authorities said the man was taken to another home, where the assault continued, then took him back to Fulbright’s house, where she guarded him with a gun.

The man finally managed to free a hand and grabbed the gun, which discharged but hit no one, authorities said. As their struggle spilled outside, the man screamed for help, then ran to a home down the block, while Fulbright returned to her apartment, Pacheo said.

“He has some bite marks on him, evident and consistent with his account, and his hands were red and swollen, consistent with someone who had been tied up,” Pacheco said.

A police complaint said the suspects stole the victim’s wallet, money clip with $500 to $600, and his cell phone and briefcase.

Truth is, I’d expect that the woman out there for me is roughly 174.8% this damaged.

A British teacher in Sudan faces 40 lashes for allowing children to name a teddy bear “Mohammed”, the name that won the popularity contest among the kids. Or she might be released - the enlightened administration in Sudan might be too busy driving Sudanese from their homes and murdering them to punish this woman.

But, it’s nice to know that naming a teddy bear after the Prophet is only one-fifth as bad for a woman as being seen with an unrelated man in public and then being gang-raped by seven men. For that, it’s 200 lashes. (It’s worth noting that the men were also sent to prison for sentences of varying terms).

The government statement said that according to the woman’s signed confession, she called a man on her cell phone and “asked to be with him alone, illegally.” The two met at a marketplace, then rode in the man’s car to “a dark area of the beach, and stayed there for some time,” the ministry said.

The group of attackers “saw her in a compromising situation, her clothes on the ground,” the statement said. “The men at this point assaulted her and the man with her.”

The woman knew that being alone with a man who wasn’t her husband was illegal, “and therefore she violated the covenant of marriage.” However, the woman was engaged — not married — at the time.

After the incident, the woman and the man did not come forward about the assaults or press charges until someone contacted the woman’s husband “telling him what happened, and about his wife’s affair and adultery,” the ministry said. “She then confessed … the husband therefore came forward to the police and formally complained nearly three months after the incident.”

The woman and her companion “exposed themselves to this heinous crime, causing the crime to take place because of their violations of the pure Sharia ruling” — the country’s strict Islamic law.

The case was handled through regular court procedures, and the woman, her male companion and the attackers all agreed in court to the initial sentences, the government said in a previous statement.

So, who wants a couple of million barrels of oil?

UPDATE: Prince Saud al-Faisal is promising that the Saudi justice ministry will “review” the case, and whines that the case is being “used against the Saudi government and people.” He can’t have it both ways — the modern way and the 11th century way — forever.

A Saudi court increased punishment for a gang rape to being whipped 200 times.

For the victim.

(CNN) — A court in Saudi Arabia increased the punishment for a gang-rape victim after her lawyer won an appeal of the sentence for the rapists, the lawyer told CNN.

The 19-year-old victim was sentenced last year to 90 lashes for meeting with an unrelated male, a former friend from whom she was retrieving photographs. The seven rapists, who abducted the pair and raped both, received sentences ranging from 10 months to five years in prison.

The victim’s attorney, Abdulrahman al-Lahim, contested the rapists’ sentence, contending there is a fatwa, or edict under Islamic law, that considers such crimes Hiraba (sinful violent crime) and the punishment should be death.

“After a year, the preliminary court changed the punishment and made it two to nine years for the defendants,” al-Lahim said of the new decision handed down Wednesday. “However, we were shocked that they also changed the victim’s sentence to be six months in prison and 200 lashes.”

I guess it’s too bad that the rapists weren’t rich, white lacrosse players. Otherwise, she might get justice.