evolution

The Chiefs drafted the following players today, in order:

• DE Tamba Hali, Penn State (1st round) — A bit small for a DE, perhaps. Scouts thought he might have been a reach. The Chiefs defenses of the early 1990s, though, were built on speed.
• SS Bernard Pollard, Purdue (2nd round) — Not polished in coverage, but hits like a jackhammer. An interesting pick.
• QB Brodie Croyle, Alabama (3rd round) — With Trent Green under contract, he can sit and learn for a while under Green and “Maytag Repairman” Todd Collins, while perhaps freshening up a bit from the beating he took at ‘Bama. Has a cannon for an arm. Another interesting pick.

So, it seems the words of the day are “wait and see”.

These two things being “emitting clean exhaust” and “not looking like a dork“.

UPDATE: And the name of it. I guess this car is for the future, when we’re too hip and edgy to have kids or go to the grocery store, squeezing tubes of mashed protein paste into our mouths and cloning adults from whole cloth.

A gamer’s character in the MMORPG Roma Victor got the stake-and-timber treatment for breaking the game’s rules.

From the “Holy crap” files, I give you someone calling him/herself “Tristan”, at a site called “Shelley the Republican“:

Like most things that are worth owning, Computers are an American invention. Look at any modern computer and you will see that the whole thing is the product of American brilliance.

For example, this rugged IBM laptop I am using was designed and built by an American company. It runs software built by Microsoft, one of America’s most productive organizations. My computer does everything I could possibly want: I can do my work, submit my taxes and even search the Bible.

Like all the greatest American engineering, it’s an example of innovation that makes a growing group of European and Chinese hackers jealous. They hate our lead in computing technology and will stop at nothing until they have control of all of our computers.

I’m talking about a project called ‘Linux’, something you may not have encountered, but might do some day. It’s a computer program that was initially developed in Finland as a means of circumventing valuable copyrights and patents owned by an American company called SCO Group.

Unlike Windows, which is a mature commercial product which is normally included with every new computer, Linux is given away. Now it may not sound like much of a problem, after all there is very little profit in merely giving a product away.

This would be certainly true were in not for the Linux project’s seductive Marxist ideology and the effect that it has on ‘Blue-State’ liberals. Indeed, Linux is so pervasive amongst the blue states and many liberal universities that a leading computer expert Steve Balmer (from Microsoft) described Linux as cancer.

The comments are even richer. The first is from the hostess herself:

The name alone (LINUX) sounds kind of queer to me!
It’s just some primitive European substitute for a real operation system like the mighty Windows XP.
Also I would like to mention that Apple’s ‘Mac Os X’ is a real threat, too. This damn extrem [sic] leftwing company is giving millions to the democ-rats!!!
Also I suspect that this Mac OS is sending personal information to Apple and other communist companies and organizations!
Kindest of regards,
Shelley

And further:

Thanks for posting my article Shelley; I submitted this to the mainstream IT press, but none of them wanted to know. It’s shocking to learn that the same liberal bias that infects mainstream news-sources also affects the technical press.

Yes, Linux is a primative [sic] European clone; It is much less capable than Windows. In fact it omits features that were standard in Windows back in 1998; For example Linux has no built-in anti-virus or anti-spyware software.

You cannot even buy popular utilities like Norton Security to compensate for this fact. There are no tools for common tasks like defragging a hard disk. God knows what you would use to send a fax or make a website. You cannot even get Front Page for Linux.

Linux is that bad; The only explaination [sic] I can think for people using it is that it by-passes the protection given by American companies and the Dept of Homeland Security. It should be considered a terrorist program.

It’s also woth noting here that Linux is based on UNIX, which is a wholly American invention that’s now nearly fifty years old.

No active version of Windows that I know of in 1998 had any anti-spyware or anti-virus integrated with it. And the reason you need it at all is that so many viruses and spy-ware programs target Windows specifically, to the exclusion of Mac and Linux. As these users increase over time, more of them will need such a solution, and they’re already starting to pop up. Sophos is a virus-scanner that runs on Mac OSX, and there are versions of F-Prot and AVG for Linux.

As for “making a Web site”, there’s a program called NVU which totally duplicates the functionality of FrontPage. And, as anyone with more than ten functioning brain cells on the Internet knows, all you really need to “make a Web site” is a freaking text editor and an FTP client. That’s all I use. Therefore, I have concluded that this person “Tristan” is not only not tech-savvy, but is a complete moron to boot. Either that, or this is a put-on, and a damned good one at that.

I know of two conservative Kansans who use Linux — me (I guess I’m conservative, anyway, who the hell knows) and another from my blogroll who’s been away awhile. I consider it sort of like an open barter system — the ultimate libertarian, government-free economy. The makers of a Linux distro are trading you the operating system for any time and effort you want to put into improving it. Nothing prevents you from releasing or even selling your work; you’re just required to release it under the same terms: your work must be open to modification itself.

The rest of these idiot ramblings (assuming, again, that is what they are) are crushed ruthlessly in the comments. Read it all for a laugh.

UPDATE: I read a few more posts from the site. This entire site has to be a put-on.

At about 06:45 today, someone in Wisconsin got evolution in a batch of search results for the phrase how to donate testicles.

If you can check the computer usage of your wives and girlfriends, now might be the time to do so.

UPDATE: Maybe he wants to give them up to extend Richard Perle’s lifespan.

[What follows is a poem from a collection I am working on titled Smile Like You Mean It.]

I: The Chocolate Shop

Standing outside the Chocolate
Shop on old Chauncey Hill, staring
through the windows, I couldn’t help
but think: (Man, those people sure are
pretty. And having fun, too.) Then,
I walked home, and stared at the night.

Got chat re-enabled, and Audioscrobbler too.

Give it up to Kevin Drum. When he’s right, he’s right; as he is about a Senate Republican plan to distribute $100 checks to taxpayers to “offset the pain of higher pump prices”:

A hundred dollar rebate! It’s bad economics, bad policy, bad optics, and the palpable stink of election-year desperation all rolled into one fetid package. But at least it’s means tested!

Well, they rolled it all up in a nice, neat package, so at least it’s efficient. Perhaps that $100 would be better spent on proper economics education.

Drum is absolutely right. What a piece of crap this is.

[inherited from: TPD.]

I don’t usually do these corny memes. It was with sheer willpower alone that I resisted a joke about Josh’s entry (you know, his being a “progressive” and all):

Favorite Cologne: None. I hate, hate, hate perfumes, colognes, scented soaps, etc.

Now that’s funny. But then I saw Mike’s, so I decided I’d better put up or shut up.

Well, as for the meme, even I can live a little.

Accent: I’m a lifelong Kansan, but some people say I have a twinge of a Southern accent. There’s some Ozark Mountain blood within me, so I suppose it’s possible.

Booze: If it’s not beer or tequila, let the sororities have it.

Chore I hate: Dishes. Don’t know a single person alive who likes doing the dishes.

Dog or cat: I have no pet, but I’m a dog person in a family full of cat people. There was of course Chelsea, but she has her house now and I have mine.

Essential electronics: A computer with a functioning Internet connection and my Motorola SLVR.

Favorite Cologne: Not too partial, because I don’t wear it for me, nor do I typically smell other men. I just try to cover up the scent of charcoal and ass.

Gold or Silver: Gold, I guess.

Hometown: Is this where I was born? If so, that’s be Eudora, Kansas, six miles east of Lawrence on K-10.

Insomnia: Had a bad case that lasted several months during senior year at K-State and again during year two of grad school. Went as long as 60 hours without sleeping.

Job Title: Technology support specialist

Kids: Nope. (I have four nieces and a nephew, with a sixth coming soon.)

Living arrangements: Apartment.

Most admirable traits: Good looks? Nah, I think it’s this: I may be the worst liar on Earth.

Not going to cop to: The thing with the waterbed mattress and the gallon jug of Wesson vegetable oil.

Overnight hospital stays: Never, although there were a couple of nasty concussions, and I had to be helped out of an oral surgeon’s office once.

Phobias: None I’m aware of. I don’t get bent out of shape too easily. I’m sure a psychiatrist could dig up some interesting dynamics between me and women. (I sure wish I could.)

Quote: “j.d., you’re a good sumbitch.” –my friend’s dad, having just drank 22 Old Milwaukees.

Religion: Born into United Church of Christ, which is today one step this side of the Unitarians. (That’s not necessarily a knock.) Today, I attend no church and have no desire to start. One set of parents are Episcopalians, the others flirted with Southern Baptism but do not attend church either.

Siblings: Two natural brothers (both younger), and a stepbrother and stepsister courtesy of each set of parents (one older, the others all younger).

Time I wake up: 06:45.

Unusual talent or skill: I think the writings of evolution could be considered… unusual, but may perhaps stretch the definition of “talent”.

Vegetable I love: The chili pepper. I was going to say “garlic”, but garlic is an herb, I think.

Worst habit: We all know what I really wanted to say here, so let’s just skip it. I suppose the one that causes me the most headache is that I get carried away sometimes with my sense of humor — such as it is.

X-rays: Head and teeth on several occasions.

Yummy foods I make: Everything. I am one hell of a cook.

Zodiac sign: Libra.

Have books you need to get rid of, whether they’re taking up too much space or you need room for new ones?

Ship ‘em here.