embarrassing CDs
You know you have them.
The ones you thought were great a few years ago, but now you’d cringe at the thought of having potential Dating Material™ rifle through them. I’m talking about those embarrassing pieces in your CD collection.
I have not bought any CDs — embarrassing or otherwise — in this age of iTunes and Bittorrent. (The new Editors album coming out July 17 will be an exception.) But I still have some around, and these are the worst of the worst.
» Asia / Asia: It gets on the list for the album cover alone, which looks like a fruity version of one of those air-brushed t-shirts you bought at a truck stop in the Ozarks during senior trip.
I don’t know why I bought this CD. I guess it was… the heat of the moment.
» The Urge / Receiving the Gift of Flavor: With such titles as Going to the Liquor Store, Drunk Asshole, and Damn that Shit is Good, it’s also known as “Fishbone for Frat Boys”. This was big at a time in history when a monstrosity known as “ska” was big, and I guess they caught the wave.
» Creed / My Own Prison: To tell you the truth, I never bought Scott Stapp’s “good Christian boy” act. Especially since it was about 1998 and he was married to a then-37-year old woman* while in his early twenties. The degree to which he has become a douchebag taints me by association. Also known as “the world owes my white, suburban ass something” rock.
» Jewel / Pieces of You This is embarrassing, because the last time I checked, I was a man. Any man who owns this CD, including me, should just put on a cardigan and a pot of gourmet coffee, and give up all hope** of ever getting laid. By a girl.
» Godsmack / Awake Also known as “Ooh, Wiccans are scary” rock. They are immortalized forever along with such luminary bands as Korn and Slipknot in crude Liquid Paper-whiteout scrawlings on the backpacks and Trapper Keepers of disaffected 15-year olds. This is the kind of music you listen to after you get a C on your Algebra II test and your mom finds out. FAIL.
I assure you I have gotten rid of CDs far more embarrassing than this, but we don’t need to go there. It’s rather painful for me.
You may, of course, name your own in the comments. Good ones get promoted to the main post.
UPDATE: It had to be done:
Listen to Asia - Heat of the Moment*: At least she looked 37. It was hard to tell behind the plastic surgery and fake tanning lotion.
**: I’m still hanging in there.
07.01.2007 @ 20:03
I hear you, sir.
I went to an Asia concert, which I think trumps merely owning the CD. There was a band that was truly less than the sum of its parts.
Here are mine:
Supertramp, Brother Where You Bound. I have a soft spot for Supertramp, but this was the last album for a reason. I’ve listened to it a grand total of one time since I bought it brand new 22 (gasp) years ago.
Somehow, I’m the not-so-proud owner of two Train CDs. I know I bought the first one; I suspect my wife of buying the other one (for “Drops of Jupiter”).
And, oh yeah: Evanescence. Fallen. Excrement.
07.02.2007 @ 08:17
Adam and the Ants, “Kings of the Wild Frontier” - this was the name of Adam Ant’s band before he became a one-hit wonder. The album is filled with punk makeovers of western style songs (or songs from old Westerns re-made with pirate lyrics). It’s a guilty pleasure that when the vinyl wore out, I bought it on CD and still occasionally listen to it. Hoist the Jolly Roger!
Devo, “New Traditionalists” - A great album; I like every song but the one that was a hit. And no, I never had one of those flowerpot hats with the plastic hair they used to sell. And yes, I realize that Devo is the mortal enemy of this blog and all that…
Sex Pistols, “Never Mind the Bollocks” - despite the opinion I held in high school, they really were hacks who made awful music. Yeah, I’ve got that on CD as well…
07.02.2007 @ 08:35
Actually I still like Devo.
07.02.2007 @ 10:36
But they’re devolutionary heretics…
07.02.2007 @ 21:04
Hootie. Disown me if you must, but damn that Hootie can sing.