evolution

In fact, I wouldn’t even read it. Dustin Diamond — brother of Beastie Boy Mike and son of legendary singer Neil, as well as a starring role on the sitcom Saved By the Bell appears in (shudder) a porno:

Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can’t get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a “Dirty Sanchez.”

Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood’s biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he’s acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond.

“Just when you think you have seen everything in this business,” he tells us, “mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it.”

I wish I could say that is the most disgusting thing I’ve read on the Internet. Unfortunately, I’ve been a Web site operator/surfer for ten years, and this doesn’t crack my top twenty.

UPDATE: Now that I’ve written it, I don’t even want to read it. So I don’t blame you for scrolling.