evolution

Thanksgiving was certainly exciting. Present for dinner were Mom, Pat, Grandma, Grandpa, and Michael (evolution’s counter-terrorism expert, whose family will meet on Sunday). Pat was at the kitchen counter carving the turkey, and Mom was setting all the side dishes on the table — mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, Waldorf salad, dressing, and green bean casserole (you know, with the french-fried onions on top). This was the first family dinner at this table — Mom and Pat had just bought it after having eyeballed similar oak tables for years.

The rest of us were seated at the table, waiting for Grandma to say the customary prayer of thanks. Pat had just poured the last glass of white Zinfandel, and Mom was about to set the last dish on the table.

Then, a great crash!, and before any of us knew what the hell had happened, the table had collapsed into our laps! Thanks to the lightning-fast reflexes of Grandpa (who is 71, having survived a mild stroke two years ago) and Michael, no food hit the deck. The drinks, including a whole bottle of wine, were a total loss — but miraculously, no dishes were broken and no one — including my wheelchair-bound grandmother — was injured. Michael and I quickly dug the old table (which was to go in my kitchen) out, and set it up. We quickly set the table while Grandpa, a retired machine-shop employee, determined the cause of the collapse. We got the table reloaded, Mom said the prayer (which was accompanied by several snickers from the rest of us), and we enjoyed the dinner, which was excellent as always.

This morning, the person that sold us the table received a quite persnickety phone call from Mom.

I hope you’ve all enjoyed your Thanksgiving, wherever you may be.